I have an apartment in DC! That finally has wifi! And a lovely air mattress on the floor, that I sleep on! And two jobs!

After a sweaty bus journey, two trips to Target, some embarrassing demonstrations of our complete ineptitude, and a job interview, my friend and I are somewhat established in DC.

We keep not paying attention to our scary 20-something building manager/landlord person’s name, so she is Landlord. Landlord thinks we are idiots. I try to avoid her, because I feel like the more time I spend around her the more likely I am to admit my total cluelessness w/r/t to being adult, having an apartment, being generally responsible.

DC is populated exclusively by Young Urban Professionals, and People Who Have Very Important Jobs That Require Them to Wear Business Suits and Smart Little Blazers. I’ve seen so many Craigslist-killer looking guys. The kind that wears polo shirts and has a fancy job and a blonde girlfriend, but then secretly gets his jollies by murdering strippers or whatever.

Anonymous asked: are you new to tumblr?

Relatively new, yes.

I’m not 100% sure, but I think I just heard a commercial on Comedy Central say “DVR that fuckin’ shit.”

(Source: bringtheruckuss)

Confession: I have listened to “Run the World (Girls)” by Beyonce like four times this week, and it’s not getting old. Not even a little bit.

alexis-cool:

look me in the eye and tell me that none of the initials in “ITT Technical Institute” already stand for “technical” or “institute”

(via worb)

Now I’ve relocated to the floor of my mother’s bedroom. I’m literally just lying on the floor hoping that I will miraculously fall asleep in the comforting embrace of this scratchy and probably very dirty carpet.

A giant, disgusting, many-legged thing was just crawling up my wall and I tried to kill it with a hardcover book but all it did was fall off the wall and scuttle away toward my bed and there is no way in HELL that I am sleeping anywhere near that thing while it is alive, and so now I’m sitting in my downstairs hallway wondering where exactly I’m going to sleep tonight.

This is really great. I was hoping this would happen.